We celebrated our 8 years wedding anniversary this week. It was a low-key celebration and as usual Hubby surprised me this time as well. I’m the boring one when it comes to gifts, I guess 🙂
Initial years are crucial in any relationship and like every marriage, we invested a lot of time and effort and by GOD’s grace, will be putting more effort to create a wonderful life together.
A lot of things contribute to a better marriage and each of us might have our own set of things we learned from our married life. And, below are some important lessons I learned over time:
Never Argue Over Extended Family:
Knowingly or unknowingly, we both decided not to argue over relatives even in the initial years. Be it his side or my side, we don’t argue who is right and who is not. It typically is more of a discussion and we try to stay in the middle ground and assess the issue, if at all there is any.
If I’m upset with my family, he would be the first and mostly the only one to know. I don’t try to hide it from him it just because it’s about my family.
Being transparent really helped in our marriage. We started becoming more open to each other and talk about anything and everything under the sun. And did I say, my husband is my BEST friend?
A Little ‘ME” Time and Couple Time:
In the initial years, we go everywhere as a couple. Now, we encourage each other to spend some “me” time outside of the family. Be it going to movies with friends or visiting a friend for a coffee, it doesn’t have to be a family event. I think every relationship needs these tiny, little breaks. When my husband travels for work, I’d tell him that I’m going to enjoy this alone time without a lot of cooking and cleaning. I might be watching my favorite movie or sleep early right after our little buddy sleeps. No “miss you hubby” here 🙂
It was the first time my husband stayed without me in the house when I went for work travel last month. I told him to enjoy this alone time which I think he did.
Now let’s talk about couple time: I even listed it as my monthly goal. Once having kids, unless there is some help, it’s hard to do date nights. So, we are trying lunch dates instead. We try to meet for lunch one of the working days when the kid is at daycare. Even then, we mostly talk about our son. But at least we talk a little about other stuff as well.
What Is Important To Your Spouse?
Each person has a set of things they cannot compromise. For example, clean house and good food are absolute essential for my husband. When we got married, I didn’t even know the basics of cooking. Over time, I understood these 2 are important to him and when he gets both of these, he will be one happy guy around.
Now let me tell you, my husband helps me with the cleaning. We share household work and it’s just that he doesn’t know cooking and doesn’t enjoy it. But he contributes in other areas. Do you know I have never done laundry once in these 8 years? He is our laundry guy 😉
I believe it’s the basic for any relationship. Have a frank discussion with your spouse if you’re upset about something. There is no hiding over here. If you don’t know me personally, I LOVE to talk and my MR is more of a listener. Initially, it was hard to get words out of his mouth when we had discussions. Over time, he understood I’d rather talk through the issues and solve them right away than keep them at the back of my mind and quote at a later point in life.
That said, I’m sure I’ll be learning lot more lessons in the coming years. What are some of the lessons you learned in your married life (if you’re married)?